diary of a dialler

another sales blog.

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Dear {First Name}

Grandma once said that writing down her experiences helped her to make sense of them. I’m still struggling, but nonetheless, here I am, barely literate and trying to make sense of a whole new world; And a whole load of acronyms.

I intend to keep this ‘diary’ in the hope that I can learn something from it. It’s probably going to be more of a journal of my spiral into madness, we’re all taking gambles here. I may get into my origin story in a future post, but to understand where I stand, we’ll get into it.

I am a fresh-faced but fairly ferocious salesperson and until the start of this job I thought SDR was a radio station; so at least I am learning. I’ve heard horror stories about sales jobs. The age-old “Cold Calling is soul destroying!” was strangely often said by people who had never done it before. But joke on them, I sold my soul years ago!

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My first week at Pipelyft was very accommodating, although I felt as if I’d consumed more tea in those 5 days than Boston Harbour had in the late 1800’s. The kettle is like the heartbeat of the office space. Gone are the days of crowded conversations around a water cooler. Now I briefly speak to people I don’t know, about things I know nothing about, waiting to use the milk I had no hand in paying for.


I jumped into this role with a Trial by Fire kind of attitude, a system of education I am used to, I have never avoided “Diving in the deep end”. For the first few days, I called numbers and practised my script.

“What the hell is a SQL?”, “Did he just say Sandbagging?” questions I’d confront myself with, all the while talking to a sales director that sounds fluent in some sort of badass, top-secret, military code. Imagine my disappointment when Google taught me what SQL meant. My first week started off with a lot to learn, but I am quickly getting used to it. I’m settling in more with the system, the software, the routine, the tea, and the commute but I continue to struggle with learning a new language. Sales Jargon.

thumb if you could stop using acronyms no one has ever 42390769

Jumping on a call and following a script, sounds easy to an outsider,
but navigating the minefield of sales acronyms was proving overwhelming at times. I had spent my evening watching sales training YouTube videos and Googling questions such as “What the heck is a CRM?”

A notable moment in my first week was the friendly reception I was
getting on the phone. I felt lucky. Sales Directors are really nice
people – I realise my initial naivety, as I start to be given the

“Sounds super, but please call me tomorrow at 8:50 am” – I had set my reminders and got in to work early, driving to work, I was listening to the We Have A Meeting Podcast feeling like a proper office goer. I settled into the morning with a brew and a biccy, pre-dialled, poised and ready to call.

It rang twice and I was greeted with “Sorry, I know. I told you to call me now, but I’m getting ready to go into a meeting. Please call me after 5.” I oblige and set another reminder for 5 pm and start down my list of other prospects. 5 pm rolls around, the script is loaded, the company website is open in front of me, and I’m ready to go.

Ring Ring,

Ring Ring,

Ring Ring,

Ring Ring …

“Welcome to the o2 messaging service, I’m sorry but the person” …. Shit. Not feeling defeated, but determined, I jot down the number and company name before sneaking into the free for all that is rush hour traffic. When I get home, I boot up my PC and load the company website. I get the number entered into my personal phone and check the time 19:20, well he said after 5 o’clock.


Give it another shot. “Hello?” my adrenaline peaks as I introduce myself, I can tell the person on the other end of the phone is annoyed, but I think they’re talking to me out of sympathy. The conversation is a difficult one, he wants to lead it, giving me rare opportunities to probe for problems, I stumble over my words and already feel a sinking feeling. Then I was hit with the cobra clutch, the crippling blow…

“It sounds like an amateur hour” protests the gentleman.

Knocking me back, I relay how new I am to the role, so to ensure them of their correct assessment. Quickly the call turns from hostility to somewhat of an education as he picks apart my script and finally tells me “Cold Calling is dead!” which I found interested considering that a two minute conversation has now lasted 20 minutes. They weren’t a good fit, but handed me a lead to another company, that eventually booked a demo. So today I learnt …. Cold calling is dead?

Best Wishes,

The New Kid



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